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In my life I have tried to

make good art and to be a

nice person.
 

I have had four dogs,

four cats, one sheep, two horses and two parrots.
 

Now I have a husband,

one son, three grandsons, a dog 

and a restaurant.

My dog sleeps a lot. Sometimes in winter I have to wake her up before it gets dark again.

They got a new cook on one of the fishing boats.  After one day when he had cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner, the crew became angry. What he´d been serving them was awful. They went so far as to sail to the nearest harbour and put the bad cook on shore. He was standing there alone on the dock as they sailed away.

There was this Belgian trawler that was caught fishing inside Icelandic territorial waters.When the captain realised the mess he´d put himself in, he burst into tears and couldn't stop crying.

Daniel, and artist friend, has donated the bodies of five ministers of the Icelandic government to a science research institute in Stockholm. He says it´s important for the future to study bodies of great people.

Many crews on the Icelandic fishing vessels have seen a huge sea serpent in the Arctic Sea.  When asked about this sight they grow timid, because people laugh.

If you swallow a nail, imediatelly consume a whole jar of canned asparagus.

In Australia I was told to go to Greece.  Greek men love Nordic women.

I try, but can´t get excited over monochrome paintings.

Heidi Berlin, the German Shepherd, walks with me every day to the studio.  She is my good friend and most obedient model.



I had a dream about American football players. I like their outfits.

This old lady died in my house.  I think she is still around.

Working in the fish factory is fun.  You put the fish into a huge machine,  it comes out in many parts.

I worked as a guard in PS 1.  Sitting in corners, scolding people if they tried to touch the artworks.

This plumber built a pyramid in a remote place in Iceland.  He lives there with his family.

A flight controller has told me that he can tell how pilots execute their take-offs; by looking at how they wear their hats.

My grandmother wants me to make nice pictures.  I try. Being pretentious in an unpretentious way.

It is nice to sit by the ocean and look at the seal.  It keeps its distance and looks you straight in the eye.  

Sometimes I get frustrated and have a guilty feeling.

Down on  Wall Street I met an old soldier.  He told me that he was trained to know a certain area in the Northern Hemisphere like the palm of his hand.  If there were ever a war he could go there and know every little detail.  He was never told where this place is.

If you want to be invisible you take the first egg of a hen, take a strand from your hair and lay it over the egg.  Put the hen on the egg and wait for five days. On the fifth day you will find a dead chicken beneath the hen and if you carry it on your person you will be
invisible.



I´m in love with the singer in the rock group Big Country.

​The beautiful German Shepherd, stays up late to watch me work.  Sometimes I wonder about her opinion on my art. You can never tell.

The drift ice that comes from the Arctic is beautiful, but its turquoise colour is not convincing.

I like sitting  by the window at Live Café when it´s raining.  You can look at all those people rushing someplace and you just sit there sipping your coffee, totally alone in the world. In Iceland that kind of activity is impossible.  You know too many people.

My grandmother told me to keep quiet around certain stones on her farm. I was not to disturb the elves.

On the farm there was a sheep.  Its name was Grána.  It was mean and whenever it got the opportunity it tried to butt me.

I know about a sculptor who uses the earth as his mould.  He digs into the ground and fills the holes with concrete. Sometimes he is too enthusiastic and winds up having such heavy pieces that he can't lift them up.  His back-yard has several sculptures like that, hidden in the ground.

Cats in New York do not understand me when I try to contact them in Icelandic by saying "kis-kis".  They are precious and want you to go out of your way to speak  in a whining pretentious kind of voice "here pussy-puss".

I'm making a picture of the word's strongest man.  He is Icelandic and he is gorgeous.

This chicken in Chinatown lives in a small cage.  If you put a quarter in a slot on it´s cage it dances for your pleasure. It´s not nice.

I think I´m dancing as fast as I can.

I think something went wrong in my mind that day when US bombed Tripoli.  The Icelandic broadcasting service plays a silly little tune before each newscast.  Ever since I get a strange sensation in my stomach when I hear that tune.

The Manhattan skyline is amongst the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

In New York I had my studio in an old boiler room.
In Iceland I have my studio in an old freezer.

Once I saw an exhibition in Soho.  Plastic tubes hanging on the wall filled with water.  Hundreds of goldfish swimming back and forth inside.

If you want to understand bird´s song you take the tongue from a falcon and soak it in honey for 48 hours.  Then you take the falcon-tongue and place it beneath your tongue.  Keep it there for three nights in a row.

My friend´s cat stopped eating and looked depressed so he took it to an animal-psychoanalyst. The analyst said that the cat was depressed because it did not have enough company.

HULDA HÁKON

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